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Inconsistently Amazing

Updated: Jan 6, 2021

This was my family on Easter and it really was as lovely as it looked.

You might be tempted when seeing a picture like this of a happy family on the internet to believe that they are that happy all the time. 

You might think of the tough times that your own family is going through or the fight you got in with your husband or your kids arguing with each other and wish you could be a happy family too. 

You might also be tempted to think that because your pictures aren't as pretty,  you are not as good as that family. That family must be handling life better, getting more things right, and always be as happy and carefree as they look in that post, but I'm here to tell you -

They're not.

They're not because no one is. 

My youngest threw himself on the floor crying yesterday over an iPad. 

I can often have trouble managing anxiety and haven't slept well in weeks, waking up past 4 is a small victory these days.

My husband and I have argued more in the past month than we have in years.

But you know what? That's okay, no one is happy and their best self all of the time. 

Because it is NOT POSSIBLE. 

It takes a LOT of energy to be at 100% and it simply is not sustainable to operate at that level all the time.

Maybe you always knew that or figured it out a long time ago, but it's still a pretty fresh revelation for me. It wasn't that many years ago that I fully understood that no matter how many books I read, or classes I took, whether I found the right clothes or shoes, or always went to bed on time and woke up early, I was NEVER going to be my best self all the time. 

I had to make peace with that. 

It might sound silly but until I was in my 30's I truly believed that if I tried hard enough and worked hard enough and ate healthy enough and did all the right things I would just reach a state of ultimate being where I would be the best possible version of myself 24/7. 

But I won't.

And that's okay.

I am okay, you are okay, and we are all, right where we are right now, enough,  

just as we are.                                      

I no longer aim for perfection, I aim for a good balance. 

One where there are more positive words and actions than negative. 

One where I get better at managing my reaction to my emotions, but I don't berate myself for feeling them.

One where I love myself exactly as I am, but also remind myself of what I can be and work towards it.

I still read the books, eat the foods, and watch the shows. I still try to focus on the good and fill myself with things that will help me grow, but I give myself grace now. I take what I can, use it where I am, forgive myself when I don't, and work on accepting myself for the person that I am right now.

There used to be a time when I'd see pretty pictures online and I'd hear a little voice begin to whisper to me that my house wasn't as nice, my kids weren't as happy, my marriage wasn't as blissful, my life wasn't as beautiful or interesting.

I now understand that little voice is wrong though, that everyone has bad days and kids that argue and tensions in their relationships. Everyone is human and thus subject to real human weaknesses. Everyone falls short sometimes.

Social media and the internet are amazing tools! They can connect us and inspire us in so many ways, but it is so important to remember that they are, by and large, everybody's highlight reel. They are often the most beautiful or inspiring moments, but never an actual full representation of a whole person, a whole relationship, or a whole unpredictable, messy, lived in, inconsistently amazing life. 

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